Cannabis review mashup – By the ounce

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It took me more than a month to get medical cannabis

You know how people tell you to lift with your knees and not your back? I learned the hard way what happens when you don’t heed that advice.

While packing for a move in March, I bent at the waist to lift a box containing a 20-pound bag of flour and far too many canned goods. When I tried to lift it, I felt a zap in my lower back and crumpled to floor.

As I crawled to my bed, I knew the injury was serious.

Being in the midst of the pandemic lockdown, I waited to get help. Eventually, I had to admit the injury needed some professional attention, so I booked an appointment with my doctor.

A few weeks later, I was in Vernon Jubilee for an MRI. The diagnosis: a herniated disc in the lower lumbar that was pressing firmly on my sciatic nerve.

Unfortunately, it isn’t the kind of injury that has an easy fix. Over the long-term, surgery is about as successful as letting it heal on its own. The only problem is pain. Lots of pain.

This wasn’t my first experience with traumatic injury. Several years ago, I had a major mountain bike crash and cannabis helped me take the time I needed to heal. I was lucky enough to know someone who knew a girl who knew a guy who grew cannabis.

It took a day to get the medicine I needed, albeit rather shadily. Keep this timeline in mind.

Medical cannabis is stuck in the past

In the time between these two injuries, recreational cannabis has come a long way. It’s been legalized and the variety of products available on the market is substantial — from topical creams to water-soluble drops.

It is easy to get recreational products, and generally affordable. Walk into a store or make a few clicks online and boom, weed.

Through the legal rec market, I was able to get some immediate relief. The much talked about cannabinoid, CBD, is an anti-inflammatory and well-suited to easing an injured back. And I’ve found THC to be very helpful in helping me to work through the relentless pain and discomfort that seems to hang on like a pesky little demon.

Getting my hands on medical cannabis, however, has been an awful process.

When I talked to my family doctor on June 9 about getting cannabis, especially with surgery not being an option, he was apologetic that he wasn’t willing/able to prescribe. The College of Physicians and Surgeons of British Columbia takes a rather gatekeeping approach to cannabis.  

My doctor recommended I talk to one of the organizations that specializes in prescribing cannabis through nurses.

Consider for a moment that if you need medication for an illness, a doctor will generally write a prescription on the spot and hand it to you; you can then take it to a pharmacy, and voila, you have it in an hour.

That is not so with medical cannabis. The process is time-consuming and drawn out.

First, there is very little information available on organizations that can prescribe cannabis. I had to turn to Reddit forums to find other medical patients’ experiences. Eventually, I settled on Ontario-based National Access Cannabis as a conduit to a prescription.

From here, it took a few days to make contact with NAC over email.

I had to fill out five lengthy questionnaires — some were very probing about my mental health. It took another few weeks before I was able to get a virtual appointment with a nurse, another day to get my treatment plan.

With prescription in hand, I now had to choose between a dozen or so licensed producers (LPs) for medical cannabis products — it’s an important choice because once you commit, it’s not easy to switch.

Once that decision was made, I had to fill out an application with the LP. Then it takes a couple more days for the LP to approve it and register you as a patient.

From there, you can order.

My prescription medicine was shipped on Monday, and I should (fingers crossed) receive it by the end of the week.

The total time to access: more than a month. Is that an acceptable timeframe to get such a widely available medication?

Email me at [email protected]. 

Photo: okanaganz.com

Shark Shock by Redecan comes in shockingly under weight.

When it comes to weights and measures, the legal cannabis industry has some work to do to earn consumer trust.

Licensed producers are required to test and label THC and CBD percentages/amounts on their flower, vapes, edibles, oils, beverages – basically every product they release into the marketplace.

But just how accurate those percentage are has been questioned.

Like any other product, cannabis has been subject to recalls. In April, lots of San Rafael ’71’s Island Sweet Skunk dried cannabis were recalled because the amount of THC indicated on the label was lower than the actual THC in the product. There have been similar recalls of drinks, gel caps, and pre-rolls.

Several B.C. retailers have repeatedly told the oz. that customers often seek out the highest percentage products at the cheapest price. 

That consumer trend has, in some instances, led to what’s been dubbed “lab shopping” – LPs seeking out services from labs known to label with the highest THC percentage.

The GrowthOp reports that “it’s not uncommon for producers to send samples to various labs and partner with whichever lab sends back the highest score.” 

Health Canada regulations do allow for a 10% variance on potency labels for dried flower, which is an enormous spread. It’s even more pronounced with edibles that are able to give up to a 25% variance because the ingredients make potency even tougher to measure.

The jury is still out, anecdotally at least, on just how much the THC percentage can be used to gauge how cannabis will make you feel. Different strains have different dominant terpenes, which are evident in the smell and taste. They also have the potential to affect your high.

Potency isn’t the only issue where LPs need to build consumer trust. Those spending their hard-earned money on cannabis are complaining about just how much they’re regularly getting shorted.

Cannabis consumers have been getting more vocal about being “shorted” on weight, which appears to be a prevalent issue. It’s one that I’ve regularly encountered, consistently receiving eighths from many brands that are noticeably below the promised 3.5 grams.

A post on Reddit in r/theOCS – a subreddit for Ontario Cannabis Store consumers – asked a question a lot of people have been asking themselves: “Why are (low) weight variances permitted and why are they tolerated?”

“I paid for 21 grams of dried (some premium) flower this week. The first 3.5g container weighed 3.23g and the second was 3.31g. That 0.5 gram equates to about $6 so far. I haven’t opened the other containers yet, but am expecting similar results. The same thing happened with my last purchase,” said one user.

“Would you tolerate 22 or 23 bottles in that case of beer instead of 24? Or maybe that 1.14 litre bottle of Crown Royal may be only 0.98 litres this week.”

The answer is often given that freshly packed cannabis dries out and loses weight over time. But if that’s common sense to growers, shouldn’t that be taken into account when packaging?

In frustration, numerous people have been wishing for a return to the legacy dispensary days, when bud was pulled from jars on the counter and weighed in front of the customer. Tight regulations from Health Canada make that a pipe dream.

Improvements are being made in certain markets. The OCS said in its first fiscal year report that the volume of complaints has decreased notably per units sold. Most complaints were related to dryness, underweight products and potency range.

“The OCS has worked with licensed producers to decrease the allowable THC potency range from a difference of 10% to 6% (although it will take several months for licensed producers to work through existing stock levels) and introduce a packaging date limit of three months for products delivered to the distribution centre,” said the report.

It’s a start.

In the meantime, maybe those of us who get jars a little underweight should at least be thankful we haven’t received empty jars, or jars packed with nuts and bolts, like some Canadian legal weed customers.

Photo: David Wylie/okanaganz.com

My mini-fridge is stocked with cannabis drinks.

Getting them in the first place, however, was difficult. The main challenge you’ll come across while trying to stock up is cannabis equivalencies – that’s the amount of cannabis said to be contained in Cannabis 2.0 products.

Houseplant’s Grapefruit Sparkling Water, for instance, has the equivalency of 5.1 grams of cannabis per can — though they only contain 2.5 mg of THC per drink.

Since The Cannabis Act prohibits purchases over 30 grams of cannabis (or the equivalent thereof), you’ll only be able to buy up to five drinks per order. You can’t even get a six pack.

While stores could sell you more by ringing through multiple orders, you’re breaking the law by having more than 30 grams of cannabis with you at a time. Even more cumbersome is that if you’re ordering the drinks online, through the BC Cannabis Store for instance, you’ll have a $6-shipping fee tacked on to every order.

Reign Drops keep falling 

I’m not the only person to grumble about it.

One local cannabis store owner says the wonky laws mean a customer can purchase 70 units of Redecan Reign drops in one order, equaling about 60,000 mg of THC.

Personally, I ordered five 2.5 mg Houseplant drinks, which totalled 25.5 grams of cannabis; I then filled my basket with six 10-mg Bhang dark chocolates, which totalled 3.96 grams of cannabis — for a grand total of 29.46 grams, just under the 30-gram limit.

Do you see the stupidity of current cannabis equivalencies?

Yes, Canada is building a roadmap for the world to follow. But this little bit of regulation is a clogged up intersection that needs to be replaced with a free-flowing roundabout.

How do they taste?

As for the drinks themselves, I’ve tried Tweed’s Houndstooth and Soda and its Bakerstreet and Ginger. I’ve also tried Houseplant Grapefruit and Sparkling Water, and Everie’s Lemon and Lime drink.

The Houseplant drink is far and away my favourite. The grapefruit smell is pleasant and the taste is fresh and makes it easy (too easy?) to knock a few back.

The Houndstooth and Soda tasted a lot like nutmeg and weed — on its own, it’s not an overly appetizing flavour. Some have suggested adding some fresh lime to brighten it up.

The Bakerstreet and Ginger was much nicer than its bland counterpart, perhaps because of the significant difference in the amount of sugar.

Having only small amounts of THC per drink, I was pleasantly surprised to feel a gentle effect off of two drinks.

Lastly, the Everie drink tasted great, but at only 10 mg of CBD, it had pretty much zero effect.

But wait there’s more

Kelowna’s own THC BioMed just announced Thursday it has shipped Canada’s first cannabis “shot,” THC Kiss. They come in 30 ml bottles, in other words, a fluid ounce.

The first order is available in B.C., with the second order to Saskatchewan.

Meanwhile, Canopy Growth’s first Deep Space drinks have reached consumers in Newfoundland and Ontario; they just arrived in B.C. 

Each drink contains 10 mg of THC and have a lower cannabis equivalent, allowing people to buy up to nine of them at one time. (Star Trek nerds, like me, may be tickled at the wordplay of Deep Space Nine.)

Early reports from Ontario have put a bit of a damper on my excitement, calling it, “Regret In A Can.”

Reddit user Vulcan905 posted his scathing thoughts on the “vile liquid from hell.”

“It smells exactly like it tastes: like a freakish combination of melted Jolly Ranchers, flat RC Cola, and some type of cleaning fluid,” says the reviewer. “It’s so impossible to drink, I can only tolerate tiny sips. Why did I get five cans of this? Because I’m stupid…. How am I going to finish this one can? HOW am I going to get rid of the remaining four cans? Do I foist it on unsuspecting guests by showing them the latest cannabis drink? ‘Here, try this, you’ll love it.’

“If 2020 was a cannabis beverage, this would be it.”